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Submitted by "Wannabe Press Officer" to Bulls News -
Spoof press release - (Not) From the club's official website:
Council To Blame As Much Anticipated Friendlies Are Cancelled
Hereford United Football Club have confirmed that due to circumstances beyond the club's control, Sunday's friendly against 1st Battalion Rifles and next Saturday's game against Cardiff City have been cancelled.
Speaking about the cancellations, Tommy Agombar - the new owner of the club and the man tasked with building on David Keyte's fine legacy - said:
"It goes without saying that we are disappointed with the decision made by Herefordshire Council today as although there is no way we can legally host a football match, we are confident Edgar Road is safe and able to host games. We feel we could have comfortably coped with the crowd of 9 we were expecting for Sunday's game so we do believe the council are being far too careful.
"I'm a football man and it breaks my heart all day long to see this game called off. However, the one positive is that Cory Williams had told John Taylor that he couldn't afford to travel to the game as the Post Office have again failed to deliver his cheque, and therefore this cancellation at least saves Billy Murphy having to take on the armed forces on his own.
"My respected colleague Andrew Lonsdale had provided us with a large pile of portable waste to put on the goal line we were defending in each half and we were confident that this would prove a fine defensive base for us. We will be keeping the waste though as it may prove very useful for our long-term plans here.
"Once again I'd like to apologise to the 9 fans who were thinking of attending the game on Sunday and also reassure them that is is very much business as usual at Edgar Road. Joel Nathan is working hard behind the scenes and I fully expect Grays to have a competitive team come the start of the season."
And don't forget, to ensure you get no information at all about what is going on at the club, please log on to the club's official website.
Council To Blame As Much Anticipated Friendlies Are Cancelled
Hereford United Football Club have confirmed that due to circumstances beyond the club's control, Sunday's friendly against 1st Battalion Rifles and next Saturday's game against Cardiff City have been cancelled.
Speaking about the cancellations, Tommy Agombar - the new owner of the club and the man tasked with building on David Keyte's fine legacy - said:
"It goes without saying that we are disappointed with the decision made by Herefordshire Council today as although there is no way we can legally host a football match, we are confident Edgar Road is safe and able to host games. We feel we could have comfortably coped with the crowd of 9 we were expecting for Sunday's game so we do believe the council are being far too careful.
"I'm a football man and it breaks my heart all day long to see this game called off. However, the one positive is that Cory Williams had told John Taylor that he couldn't afford to travel to the game as the Post Office have again failed to deliver his cheque, and therefore this cancellation at least saves Billy Murphy having to take on the armed forces on his own.
"My respected colleague Andrew Lonsdale had provided us with a large pile of portable waste to put on the goal line we were defending in each half and we were confident that this would prove a fine defensive base for us. We will be keeping the waste though as it may prove very useful for our long-term plans here.
"Once again I'd like to apologise to the 9 fans who were thinking of attending the game on Sunday and also reassure them that is is very much business as usual at Edgar Road. Joel Nathan is working hard behind the scenes and I fully expect Grays to have a competitive team come the start of the season."
And don't forget, to ensure you get no information at all about what is going on at the club, please log on to the club's official website.
